Monthly Archives: June 2017

Forget About Women’s Liberation

Women command a large number of world population, yet it’s very hard to find a nation whose government will come up boldly to say that they have more women in their nation than men. Take a look at the record of birth in any community, the number of female children tend to outnumber that of their male counterparts. In every angle you look, you see women in their great numbers – schools, Churches, armed forces, markets, playgrounds/beaches, offices, hospitals, etc. Women have taken up some challenging roles and performed better in certain offices than the men themselves. In the field of medicine and engineering, women thrive and as such, are looking up to seizing political powers, yet it is a wonder that many people come up in our generation to complain about the ill-treatment of women. Women themselves were later forced by the prevailing situation to delve into a struggle that is enshrined in malice.

The Bible said a lot about women. It gave a down-to-earth story of how she came to be, the challenges before her and her future reward as a mother. Jesus Himself regarded and treated women with respect. After observing the actions of Jesus towards women, Charles Seltman commented: “Jesus was a feminist to a degree far beyond that of His fellows and followers… No other western prophet, seer, or would-be redeemer of humanity was so devoted to the feminine half of mankind”. Women suffered humiliation at the time that Jesus walked upon the earth. At that time, both pagan culture and so many other cultures (Jewish inclusive) insisted that women be kept in “their place” – and that place was clearly spelled out. Avenues open to men were closed to women. Such opportunities for self-fulfillment, personal development, and for achievement and leadership in public life or organized religion were greatly prohibited. Women were required to stay behind the scenes, keep the home fires burning, bear and rear children, and remain apart from the “busy, important world of men”.

Nevertheless, Jesus’ personal attitude towards women gave promise to liberation from the chains of custom. Women who followed Him, spoke with Him, and listened to His teaching, could not help but contrast His treatment of them with the way other religious leaders regard them. Could it be that His message of God’s love and redemption contained the seeds from which could sprout possibilities for human dignity and authentic personhood for all people – regardless of sex, class or race? Could it be that He was the women’s liberator? We shall not hesitate to say yes!

Speaking in terms of change of role, liberation and developing awareness for every women especially Christian women, we are not thinking in isolation of an organization or movement, but rather a state of mind in which a woman comes to view herself as Jesus Christ sees her – as a person created in God’s image whom He wants to make free to be whole, to grow to learn to make proper use of her God-given talents to the fullness as a unique person. It is a realization that men and women together may be freed from sex, role stereotypes and traditions which hinder development into the true humanness that was God’s original plan at the dawn of creation into male and female in His own image to delight in cordial fellowship with Him and with one another.

Early enough, women were considered to be inferior to slaves, in the sense that the slaves are the possession of their masters who may legally represent their will while the women could not. In the Jewish world, the male Jew, for instance, was taught by the rabbis to thank God that he was made a man and not a woman. In the patriarchal Roman family, the man alone possessed the legal rights of the family while the wife and children had none. Among the Greeks, women were part of the household property of the man.

The life of a woman in many societies was greatly and gravely dominated by men. For the purpose of marriage, girls were captured from neighbouring clans in the primitive times to continue the family line. Daughters were then transferred from being the property of their fathers to being the property of their husbands. At any rate, what changed the position of women in marriage was war. Because men fought wars and women and children kept the homes, their social status brightened up. In other words, women became queens in children’s environment – a dreary situation.

The Scripture appears to confirm the lordship of men over women and other creatures in the Genesis’ account of creation story in some measure. God built the ribs He had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man (Genesis 2:2). The story was not different in Christian era. Most Christians had the negative views about women such that monks were advised to flee their company.

Women had through the years been treated as a thing that needs a constant “purification” whereas everything masculine is believed to be sacred. In most parts of the world, certain places are forbidden to women; they are not allowed to touch certain men and more so immediately after or before some religious rituals. It is not surprising that after many centuries of such taboos a couple of women still ask such questions as – “Do women enter here?”, “Do women touch it?”

Women are bared by retrogressive native laws from sharing in the estates, of either their fathers or husbands, simply for being women. Women whose husbands are torn away from their embrace by the cold hands of death often face terrible situations from their husband’s relations. They roar into their brother’s home even before the woman’s eyes are dried of the tears of mourning, and turn the heat on the “stranger” – his widow. That shows an eloquent demonstration of the fluidity of the status of women to borrow a time – worn cliché – in a male dominated world.

However, you find out that such women become at once complete strangers in the home they helped to build, losers who had no claims to the sweet trappings of victory. Such is the woman’s lot, especially in developing countries where a quaint mix of queer customs and traditions rule the lives of the who set goals as well as the pace and pattern of development. Up till now, women are yet to be accepted to stand bail for suspects at police stations in many parts of the world.

In different places, women are seen but not heard. There are a lot of variables involved in determining the status of women in the primitive or modern society. Women are considered almost as property in some primitive societies whereas among the non-Christians, their status is radically infradig. Most of their practices portray the absolute subordination of women to men. Thank God for Christianity whose birth became the turning point in the history of women. Christianity proclaims the equality and unity of men and women, converging all human differences towards a single supernatural goal (Galatians 3:28). No previous civilization had accorded inalienable rights to women and children.

However, today’s women, unlike their mothers and grand-mothers of yesterday, are all true aware of their roles. They do not only know that the world is larger than their kitchens and homesteads, but also want to reach beyond the kitchen and the homestead and get into the world entrusted to creatures by the Creator, to cultivate and harness. This awareness on the part of the women folk is one of the forces behind their present drive to get into every area of life. Jesus did not come to raise up stiff-necked people, drug addicts, armed robbers and prostitutes. He only came that people who are in such activities should abandon them and receive a new life which only Him can give.

Today, most women are cheated out of God’s plan for their lives. They are totally out of order, taking hold of almost everything they can get at. Women allow themselves to be used in such a way that they advertise and commercialize their feminity in beds, boardrooms, or classrooms. They over-react to issues by doing violence to their naturally good feminine qualities. Almost everything has the tincture of woman power. Talking liberation of womanhood is completely out of the question here, because in everything women rule. They globe-trot, and challenge issues alongside the male counterparts thereby making it difficult for some people to consider them as serious minded people. This ugly trend has forced most Christians to see women as unqualified to handle certain offices in the Church. In true terms, no sensible person can entrust God’s business in the hands of an amazon, or a half-man half-woman, but to a composed person with good and authentic feminine qualities. Apart from that, nothing else can suffice.

Owner of Small Business Women

In 2008, I won a Sams Club Entrepreneurship award through the Count Me In program. Part of the award package included free attendance to the Count Me In Leadership Institute at the Office Depot headquarters in Boca Raton last year. I heard Nell Merlino, Executive Director of the Count Me In program, speak about the need for women owned small businesses to hire.

This year, there have been several articles published related to this topic:

(1) The Work Life Balancing Act, Cindy Krischer Goodman, Miami Herald, September 29, 2009
(2) Women Business Owners: It’s time to be called ‘boss’ by Rhonda Abrams, USA Today, March 12, 2010
(3) Want to Grow, Hire Some Help by Eve Gumpel, WomenEntrepreneur, March 15, 2010
(4) Why are Women-Owned Firms Smaller Than Men-Owned Ones by Sharon G. Hadary, The Wall Street Journal, May 17, 2010
(5) Nell Merlino on What Holds Women Entrepreneurs Back by Karen E. Klein, Bloomberg Businessweek, July 2, 2010

However, I have yet to read and learn what is at the core of the problem. Why are women small business owners less reluctant to hire than men? What is it about us? I think if we can reflect on why we are not hiring, perhaps we would be more inclined to hire.

There is a more pressing reason why women business owners should get on the band wagon. A 2002 study by Richard DeMartino and Robert Barbato entitled “Differences between women and men MBA entrepreneurs: exploring family flexibility and wealth creation as career motivators” (Journal of Business Venturing, Rochester Institute of Technology) cited that women-owned businesses make up 40% of all businesses and women continue to start businesses at twice the rate of men.

The Kauffman Foundation released July 2010 study findings by Dr. Tim Kane that concluded that when it comes to creating new jobs, startup companies are the source. The study is entitled “The Importance of Startups in Job Creation and Job Destruction”. We can look at it this way – if women did not start new businesses, women would not contribute to the very source of new job creation.

Mark Levit, Managing Partner of Partners & Levit Advertising and a Professor of Marketing at New York University wrote an article entitled “The Difference between Men and Women” with a focus on how marketers can strategize to appeal to women. Well, why not look at these differences and apply them to the question of why women are business owners are reluctant to hire. Here goes…

Mark Levit cited a University of Wisconsin study which found that:

(1) Women notice and recall 70% more detail in their environments than do men.

This may explain why it might take women longer to come around to hiring. Perhaps women business owners are too detailed oriented and get bogged down in the details. They would then be slower to hire.

(2) Men tend to see life as a series of contests they must conquer to maintain personal status.

Perhaps women small business owners are less competitive and less interested in boosting their personal status. Women business owners may be motivated less by competition and more by creating a nurturing environment – rather than expanding and profiting more. DeMartino and Barbato found that a higher proportion of women become entrepreneurs in order to balance work and family and a higher proportion of men do so to seek wealth creation and personal economic advancement.

(3) Women have a greater affinity for shopping.

Perhaps women business owners should think of hiring as shopping for help. If women business owners looked at hiring as a shopping extravaganza, then maybe hiring would be a more pleasurable experience.

(4) Women take pride in their ability to shop skillfully, prudently, and well. Women tend to evaluate the pros and cons of every purchase. Men make impulse purchases. No coupons. No lists.

Mark Levit cited British psychologist David Lewis’ study which explained the nature-over-nurture concept that prehistoric women are “homebound gatherers of roots, nuts, and berries, rather than roaming hunters of game”. Now, we are back to the dilemma of getting bogged down in details. It takes more time to be more skillfully, prudently, and well. Perhaps women business owners put off hiring until they are able to be trained in how to properly hire and protect themselves and the work environment they nurture. Are women business owners less likely to just place an ad, interview, and hire? Are they less likely to know how to do this skillfully? What about time? Is the time consumption the problem?

(5) Women want to feel cherished, whereas men want to feel needed.

Perhaps it is the prospect of having to reject poor candidates or having to fire poor performers that prevents women business owners from hiring.

(6) When men shop, it’s usually for themselves, when women shop it’s for themselves and their families.

Sharon Hadary advocates that women owned firms need to be taught – esp. by other women leaders – to think big from the start. There needs to be a change in the women business owners’ mindset. In 2008, Dr. Susan L. Reid wrote an article entitled the “Similarities and Differences between How men and Women Excel in Business”. Dr. Reid wrote that one mistake women entrepreneurs make is that they make excuses. Another mistake cited by Reid is that “too many women have a mindset of scarcity when it comes to their businesses. They believe they lack time, money is scarce, and there aren’t enough customers.”

Having the Right Mindset – Heed to Nike and Just do it!

Remember the 1998 Nike Just Do it ad campaign? ALL women businesses need that competitive, can do attitude.

If women were to take clues from the male mindset, women business owners would:
(1) View their businesses as more like a contest or competition…grit down, compete, be passionate, be determined, and just do it!
(2) View from a mindset of plenty – there is plenty of time, customers, and help.
(3) Not over evaluate and get bogged down in details. I will have a quick strategic plan for hiring (list of tasks to delegate, job description, job ad, job interviews) and hire by set deadlines. I will just do it!

In a very unscientific humorous HubPages article entitled “The Differences Between Men and Women”, Ryan Kett jokingly wrote that “Women take 20 minutes to choose food from a takeaway menu, Men will take 1 minute.”

It is time for women small business owners to get help. If cash flow is a concern, hire volunteers. No excuses! Just do it!

Here are some daily affirmations for women business owners:
o There is plenty of time. I will manage my time. I will just do it!
o There are plenty of customer prospects. I will go prospecting daily. I will just do it!
o There is plenty of help and if I cannot afford them now, I will hire on commission or hire volunteers! I will just do it!
o I will shop for new hires. I will just do it!
o It is OK to be motivated to grow my business and create wealth because with more wealth, I will have more flexibility to balance work and family.

Issues of Christian Life and Women

As an effect of sin, humans are deeply driven toward autonomy, preferring to live independent of God’s authority instead of within the shelter of his divine sovereignty. This is the temptation to which Eve would surrender. Instead of a life dependent on God, she evaluated on the basis of her self-appointed authority that the fruit of the forbidden tree was beautiful and an acceptable source for knowledge and sustenance. God was no longer necessary in her new view of the world because she chose instead to believe the twisted words of the serpent, that she could “be like God” (Gen 3:5). She quickly dismissed the distinction between herself, the created, and the Creator.

When faced with difficult life circumstances, we are called to submit to God’s wisdom and authority and recognize our own insufficiency. It is true that scripture does not provide explicit answers for each and every situation, so while God’s normative method of self-disclosure is not through audible voice, studying God’s word is necessary to develop a biblical worldview that will enable godly reflection in the absence of obvious solutions. Trusting God in the midst of any degree of crisis is probably one of the the greatest challenges to living the Christian life.

Popular culture argues, on the other hand, that God, if he even exists, is irrelevant to just about everything. Religion, and specifically evangelical Christianity, is regarded as bigoted and narrow-minded, outside the scope of logic and reason. Christian truth claims are viewed as merely private values, but the “promise” of scientific progress and “hope” through human reason-with little room for ethical reflection-are believed to be neutral sources of information, and therefore, the source of truth for everyone. This way of thinking is dominant in the area of women’s issues and is wielding great influence on the lives of women inside and outside of the church.

When biblical and theological reflection on women’s issues is tolerated, it is usually through a theology of liberation known as feminist theology. This theology seeks primarily to free women from the oppression of what they describe as patriarchalism, referring to male headship or authority that demands unquestioned female submission. In this context, feminist theology argues that women are not really free due to an imbalance of power. This experience then becomes the interpretive grid to understand revelation, rather than revelation interpreting experience

Locating the meaning of scripture in one’s own experience is the equivalent of dethroning God, taking his seat, and wearing his crown. It is an approach that fails to recognize God’s authority over his entire creation, the exact problem Eve encountered as she replaced the revealed word of God with her own rationalizations. Our experiences can only describe how we live, they certainly do not prescribe how to live. Yet, this is not a matter of cold hard facts about the nature of God. God is the source of all that is true, he transcends all that is in the earth, yet he cares deeply about it and is closer than it may seem. Scripture reveals that our experiences do matter to God, he cares deeply about the problems we face and solutions we find.

At the core of “women’s issues” is a long list of topics that matter to women. The list includes access to abortion, conception and contraception, careers, gender equity in the workplace, end-of-life health care, domestic violence and human trafficking. All issues of great significance to the every day lives of women, yet for the most part, not a part of the evangelical discussion within the walls of the church. Of course, there is a strong Christian voice in defense of the unborn and for the moral status of the embryo-and this voice needs to continue its bold proclamation. As well, there is an appropriate voice reacting against the ideology of secular feminism, a voice that rightly shows how this worldview fails women spiritually and in all other practical ways. What has been lacking, however, is a proactive voice intentionally educating women on these and related issues, a voice that teaches women to think through complicated life issues from a Christian worldview. Organizations like the National Organization for Women, the Feminist Majority, and NARAL have been declared by the dominant culture to be the source for addressing women’s issues and equipping women to live triumphantly in this “patriarchal” society. The Christian community is quick to provide a response to these organizations and issues, but little education has been directed to the women in the pew, women of all ages, ethnicities and economic levels who have been or are potentially swayed by the seductive gospel of unfettered “women’s rights.”

It is erroneous to believe that with the assurance of salvation comes the instant ability to effectively reason through issues and achieve resolutions that are pleasing to God. The status of “born again” is not a guarantee that a young woman won’t consider an abortion, because the dominant culture may have convinced her that the embryo is not really her child or that this is not actually a spiritual issue. A financially-strapped college student may have little knowledge of what is involved in selling her eggs, as an act of good-will to an infertile couple or for research purposes. She may not understand that this egg, when fertilized, is her biological child. What she has been told by the college “women’s center” is that the egg is nothing more than tissue and a fertilized egg (an embryo) is nothing more than a “clump of cells.” To top all that off, she probably has not been fully informed about the health risks in undergoing such a procedure.

A young married couple in the congregation may struggle with infertility and is willing to pursue the use of reproductive technologies to solve their heart-wrenching crisis. After three years of treatment, they may have 2 children, but four more children are in cryopreservation at the fertility clinic because the most economical route for their family was to have many embryos fertilized at one time. Still, there are other women who are entering into the Christian community, ashamed to talk to anyone about the abusive relationship they are in, fearing judgment, blame, and ridicule.

10 Good Ways to Meet Women

These tips are designed to get you to think about the whole meeting women process in a different way than you probably do now.

I do include places to meet women but also internal things for you to work on so that you are READY to meet good women.

1: Be YOUR best
Be in the top shape you can be, dress in a stylish manner, make sure you are groomed well and take care of your smile. You can be the greatest guy in the world but your mismatched pants and socks combined with dirt under your nails will turn her off.

2: Go online young man
Dating Web sites can be great. Make sure to put up 2 photos. One will be in business clothing and the other will be casual. Get a professional to do them. Do not write a book about yourself. Just say that you are looking for a self-reliant woman to laugh with over coffee.

3: Develop your sense of humor
Women want to have FUN and LAUGH so they love a guy with a sense of humor. Think you cannot do it? Think again. You are not trying to go out on tour and hit the comedy club circuit. You just need to be able to look at the world in a more funny way than you are now. There are comedy classes, books, seminars, improvisation classes and many more ways for you to be funny.

4: Remember, dating is like sales
There is a lot of rejection in sales if you have never been in it before. You need to look at finding your dream girl as a process where you will probably hear the word no a lot before you can hear the word yes (of course, maybe you will find your dream girl out of the gate).

5: NEVER take women personally
Dovetailing on tip 4 above, you will run into a lot of women that are not right for you, do not want anything to do with you, disappear after 2 dates even though they seemed to be having a good time, and many more frustrating things. Keep good humor about this process and remember you only need ONE good woman.

6: Learn what a good woman is
You should be looking for a clinically sane woman you can talk to that is self-reliant, has a good sense of humor, is giving, has high integrity, responsible and is flexible in her approach to life.

7: Do NOT overrate her looks
She looks like she comes off the cover of a famous magazine with long, curly hair and a perfect shape. You are either afraid to approach or you are willing to put up with ANYTHING to be with her. Remember, you want a good woman so do not just give her a pass on bad behavior and do not be afraid to talk to her!

8: Self-confidence is sexy
The John Wooden coached basketball teams were great (John Wooden was probably the best college basketball coach in history). His teams were great because they were the SAME whether they were winning, losing or tied. They always had the same cool, calculated approach. You need to be the same with women. Whether you have 4 women that you are dating now or you have been rejected 30 times in a row, you still need to show the world that you are a guy that is cool. The right woman will notice this but she never will if you let the losses affect your game.

9: Never talk sex
Good women do not respond to this kind of talk when you are just meeting them. Stay away from talking about it or ANY other type of physical contact talk. Do not even tell her you want to kiss her. Why? Most every other guy talks about sex, physical contact, etc, and she is SICK OF IT!

10: Lines are OUT
She is a PERSON. Just TALK to her. Say hi and introduce yourself with a smile. If she is physically attracted to you, she will help you talk to her. If she is not, then she will not help you. The greatest line in the world cannot overcome her not liking the way you look, so stop putting a head trip on yourself with lines. Just TALK to her.